Hot Mess Mom


Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to other moms? I do. All. The. Time. I don’t judge other moms – well, I mean, there are the ones who do some truly horrible things to their children and make the news and I definitely judge them. But ever since joining a larger community of moms on Facebook, I don’t judge other moms. But MAN the number of times I’ve caught myself comparing their lives to mine.

I have one friend who stays home with her kids and posts all kinds of amazing activities and adventures on her social media. I find myself wondering why I can’t be as organized as she is. Or creative. And I’ve seen this mom in action SO MANY TIMES. She legitimately is just that FABULOUS.

I have another mom friend who admits to losing her shit all the time. But when we hang out, I envy the way she’s able to talk to her son. The calm that she exudes. It might all be for me, but man do I wish I could think of the things that she says.

One of my friends works full time and is able to do all of these extra things for herself and for her kids. Where does she find the time? Or the energy?

I’ve actually had to come up with a strategy to stop comparing myself to others. With my anxiety I end up focusing WAY TOO MUCH energy on the comparison and get STUCK. But I found three questions to ask myself in these situations …

The first thing I ask myself – “ARE YOU DOING YOUR BEST?” Because if I am, then there is no reason to compare myself to someone else. And if I’m not, there still isn’t a reason to compare myself to someone else. There’s just a reason to work harder on doing better.

The second thing I ask myself – “DO YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY?” Because if I don’t know what they’re actually going through, comparing myself to someone else and wishing I was more like them might not actually be any better than my own life.

And lastly I ask myself – “ARE YOU BEING FAIR?” Fair to myself? Fair to the person I’m comparing myself too? Cause likely, I’m not. Especially not myself.

I’ve learned that people are really good at plastering on that fake smile and showing a social media perfect life to people around them but they struggle just like everyone else. And I’m no different. If you knew all the things going on in my life right now, you’d probably have to pick your jaw up off the floor. And I know I’m not the only one.

Make sure you’re happy in real life and not just on social media.

We are all hot mess moms and losing our shit. Every last one of us. Those that say they aren’t… well, I would love to be a fly on the wall in their house cause I could use the help. I’m the master of producing the happy life for house guests, play dates and social media. But I also have it figured out how to be happy in real life not just on Facebook and Instagram. Know what that secret is? Embrace the hot mess life and do your best. That’s it. Seriously.


Author: Brixanne

mom, step mom, wife... all the $#!+ they don't tell you about motherhood

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