Out with the old…

What a year it’s been. I can say with complete confidence that nothing went the way I thought it would when 2020 rang in.

I spent December 31st with my boys… we celebrated with non-alcoholic champagne and the fun little headband things. Honestly, I knew my world was crumbling but I put on a happy face for my boys. We spent the night together and I knew that there was change on the horizon, just didn’t realize what it would actually mean.

March 1 marked a new chapter in our lives. One I had tried to prepare myself for, but nothing truly prepares you for the end of your marriage even when you know it’s already over. And amidst the leaving and starting over in a one bedroom apartment with all my boys Covid-19 decided to grace our presence.

And since then, my life has been a roller coaster of emotions. I do really well and then something will remind me of the past and I’ll become emotional all over again. And I’ve learned that’s okay. It’s alright to still feel sad sometimes because that was a huge chapter of my life and that’s not something that is supposed to be easy to overcome. It’s not supposed to be simple to move on quickly from a marriage.

I spent a lot of time outdoors this spring and summer. Exploring local trails. Paddle boarding. Taking the kids out and about. Doing whatever we could to enjoy the weather and each other with the world being shut down.

I traveled. I know not everyone approved but I did. I spent time with my siblings and friends. I explored new cities. Tried my best to find myself and to find what I love. And I love traveling. I love outdoors. I love moving. I love exploring new places and trying new foods and new drinks and meeting new people. And I’ve met some AMAZING people. People that have touched my life indescribably. Folks from Arizona and Nashville. People that will remain in my heart forever because they have literally shown me a new part of myself, have shown me kindness, have been a part of new chapters of my life.

I’ve gotten two new tattoos. I pierced my nose. I’ve changed my hair. I’ve lost weight and gained weight and worked out and been stagnant. I burned the things from my past life. Made new friends and lost old ones and deepened some really important relationships. I’ve moved twice – currently in a very cute two bedroom apartment on Grand. I’ve gotten two different vehicles – now driving a minivan that fits us all much better. I was able to have Christmas for my kids – not only that but paid for us to take a trip to Denver coming up.

This year was far from perfect. It was one of the most difficult years of my life to date. But it was also one of the most fulfilling. I have grown so much and although I have a lot more to accomplish, I am proud of where I am. I left everything behind and started a new life and I have many goals in mind for this upcoming year. But I can say that I am proud of where I am right now and I’m excited to keep growing and moving forward.

Cheers to a happy and successful New Year!

Author: Brixanne

mom, step mom, wife... all the $#!+ they don't tell you about motherhood

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