Some days are just HARD. Like, beyond hard. Like, run-into-a-too-clean-glass-door-at-full-speed hard. Yesterday was one of those days.
When I say hard in reference to yesterday, I don’t mean the kind of day where everything is going wrong either. Because, honestly, I’m probably the Queen of Everything Going Wrong. It was just one of those days where my kids would not listen to a word I said and I was emotionally and mentally unprepared.
I don’t know why people are always lying to each other. “It gets easier.” “Isn’t (insert age here) such a FUN age?” Why, no Susan, it’s NOT really a fun age, but thanks for asking. And yes, I do know that I’m going to “miss these days when they’re gone” and I “should really enjoy them.” But I know you know that is not how you feel in the moment.
I was running around with the kids yesterday, making money and spending money. But these little devils decided that any time I asked them to do something, they would do the complete opposite. They were screaming in the car, hitting each other, running around stores, touching things that I can only DREAM to afford. O. H. M. Y. G. O. D. I was ready to pull my every loving hair out of my head.
And the reason I’m writing about it – because most days I believe that I am the perfect mother for my children, because God doesn’t make mistakes. Even when we feel like we can’t make it through one more day, we do. But days like yesterday, in the moment of it, I honestly feel like God must be some sort of sadist and put me with the wrong kids because there is no way that all mom’s deal with what I deal with. Do I actually believe this? No. Of course not. I know that my babies struggle just like I do and that sometimes that looks like them not listening, destroying everything and being completely unbearable. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to call the mommy store and have them issue these kids a new model some days though.
What it does mean is that I have to take a little more time to breathe. And I’m not great at that.
What it does mean is that I need to give them a little more grace. And I’m not great at that.
What it does mean, is that while today sucked, tomorrow is a new day. And we all get to start fresh. And I am okay with that.